On paper, it's a very dumb video game. But God help me, i'm going to clean every one of those pixels.

What if Spider-man didn't have witty quips and was just mean and angry all the time? Oh, also, he was always in hallways with low ceilings? This 2009 reboot of the arcade classic answers that question

On paper, this game should be 'The Room' of video games. Bizarrely detailed, cult-like following, eccentric/quirky writing... Yet, we found it hard to enjoy the plodding and sometimes gross gameplay.

The infamous game that, along with Mortal Kombat was the feature of a US congrressional hearing on violence in video games. What you actually have is a mild PG13 campy B movie that is ruined by QTEs

Ever wanted inane boring chatter between forgettable characters to get in the way of a mediocre game of poker? You were Telltale's target audience. A skippable part of the Telltale anthology.

Multiplayer rarely works. Single player is sometimes literally unplayable due to procedural generation. Gameplay is boring. Cthulu has dreads. It's a slog to see the enjoyable bad parts. Skip it.

There are bad games, then there is Alpha Zylon. It is terrible and cheap and broken on a scale that bad game reviewers like ourselves can only dream of. It's a barrel of migraines & we suggest you try

At first it's funny because it's so over the top edgy, and 'video games cause violence lol', but after you've seen it all you are genuinely worried about the developers state of mind.

Video Games ought to be groundbreaking. They should get weird. Tomato Way does that in droves. TW1 is just a peek into the tomato-verse, a horrifying world of depth, betrayal, love, and insanity.